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in. Dating Vietnamese Women. If you take a Vietnamese girl out on a date, she will probably expect to be paid for.

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If you actu a lly start going out with her, she might expect you to express your affection in the form of anything from roses to Iphones. Most traditional Vietnamese girls are raised by their parents in a close-knit family environment.

9 things you need to know before dating vietnamese women

They live with their parents until marriage. Many of them, insofar as they do any sort of dating before marriage, date one guy for a relatively short period of time — often a guy who is already known to their parents. She will be expected to keep house, look after the kids and keep tight control of the purse strings. However limiting this picture of female roles may seem from a Western point of view, this is the way most Vietnamese girls like it. On top of major expressions of serious romantic intent, presents and payments are essential to what they dating with vietnamese girl from any interested male party to a long-term relationship.

Quitting work and giving up on the wider world outside the family home for several years after marriage is par for the course.

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Vietnamese men are equally as comfortable with the traditional system of presents and payments, firstly because it gives them the reassurance of set romantic roles, secondly because it gives them the opportunity to show generosity and care and poweras well as hopefully leaving a little lee-way to hide the debts they rack up during their initial romantic campaigns. Which is not to say that all Vietnamese girls fit the traditional picture.

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The most forward-looking among them clearly have serious doubts about the standard Vietnamese ideal of love and marriage gifts and payments which often for a woman means marrying the first decent, caring, financially solvent guy who comes along and sticks competently to conventional romantic roles. However, life is not exactly easy for an modern, independent Vietnamese girl who wants to make her own way in the world.

Dating a vietnamese woman: don’t mess up!

A girl who takes her economic or romantic fate into their own hands is seen, at best, as bucking the system, and at worst as deeply bad by the traditionalists in her own family, or indeed by the traditional part of herself. Dating with vietnamese girl this is also where things get confusing for Western men in Vietnam.

Because, truth be told, there are a lot of Vietnamese girls out there who are operating somewhere between the poles of Vietnamese tradition and Western-style modernity. Most confusing of all, there are a lot of girls out there who are operating on rather traditional assumptions, even though they live in the loud, brash environment of Ho Chi Minh City or Hanoi and have all the accoutrements of independence and modernity smartphones, their own motorbikes, short shorts short enough to kill men on the spot.

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Unless you yourself are an out-and-out traditionalist, a woman who shows little interest in being anything other than a gently or fiercely passive object of male desire and care is probably not the best person for you to start chasing round after. The main problem here being that some rather traditional Vietnamese girls are so drop-dead gorgeous that Western men end up chasing round after them. And marrying them.

It's complicated: when a vietnamese woman meets a foreign man

And driving themselves insane in the process. Specifically, there are Vietnamese girls who will pursue Western men, either for short-term or long-term relationships, for reasons that have nothing much to do with love, romance or the general joy of human interaction such as it is. Some Vietnamese girls are interested in finding Western boyfriends because Western guys are supposed to be fantastically rich.

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Some Vietnamese girls are interested in finding Western boyfriends just because having a Western boyfriend is considered glamorous — or because having Eurasian babies is considered even more glamorous. Others might see having a Western boyfriend as a ticket out of Vietnam. Often, the instrumental attitude to relationships of these kinds of sharp operators is far from purely selfish.

Thinking of themselves as dutiful members of a wider family unit, a lot of sharp operators see having a Western boyfriend, ready to shoot them money and buy them presents, as a way of helping out their families. Most of the presents and payments made by the Western boyfriend get shot out to relatives dating with vietnamese girl the provinces.

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Which can make said Western boyfriend feel as if his generosity is being seriously abused. But which for his girlfriend is a pure expression of economic necessity and filial piety.

Dating vietnamese girls as a foreigner

Because of the mixed motives that some Vietnamese girls have for entering into relationships with Western men, sharp operators are not always easy to pick. The easiest sharp operators to pick are the ones who make wild requests for money straight up and stop returning your calls if you show any s of refusing them.

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The fact that a girl asks you to buy her an Iphone after two dates is probably also a bad. That is, you pay for all the drinks and food consumed by everyoneincluding yourself, your date and any other girlfriends she decides to bring along to the date for moral support.

If your girlfriend is educated, urban and financially independent, then she will probably be fine about splitting bills.

15 things about vietnam: part 2

I would say it is a little neurotic to think your relationship with her is in serious trouble just because she expects you to pay for most things most of the time. If you go traveling out of town without your Vietnamese girlfriend, you should remember to do the culturally appropriate thing and buy her presents small ones.

When you dating with vietnamese girl meet her family, have presents ready for them too. In these sorts of situations, she could always pay you back later. Speak up before break up, men. Look across the abyss and talk, explain, negotiate. Say no to Her, if you have to, but make sure you say why too. For dating with vietnamese girl Western guy, the trickiest issue of all about getting into a relationship with a Vietnamese girl is the issue of overcoming your culturally over-determined anxieties about being taken for a ride.

The other main issue is that, in getting into a relationship with a Western guy, your girlfriend will have to overcome her anxieties about being seen as a moral monster. If you can mutually handle both those sets of issues, then being in a relationship with a Vietnamese girl can be a beautiful, fun and happy-making thing.

Across the board, Vietnamese women, especially the ones who have had some contact with the world outside of Vietnam, are curious, low-key and tenaciously loyal human beings with a politeness of heart and emotional consistency that you might have found lacking in other romantic climates. So if the pair of you can just get over your various issues, then you might be looking at a serious stint in.

Not paradise. This piece originally appeared at The Great Stage: www.

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